When I am old and my remaining plumage is greying, no doubt there will come a time when the grandchicks will run up to me and ask excitedly "Grandpenguin! What did you do during the war?" And I will have to answer that that is a hopelessly outdated question, and I belonged the last generation who could legitimately ask it. Not that I ever did, but the subject came up in educated German company the other night, and without thinking I casually mentioned one grandfather was a "
Flakhelfer in Coventry". Really, after 16 years in Germany I should have known better, and I had the ensuing slightly shamed-cum-sympathetic silence coming to me.
Anyway, instead of spending my youth lobbing munitions at the Hun and his erstwhile Far Eastern ally, I instead went to live in both their capitals and learnt their languages, so I will have to say something like "I engaged in a passive war of nerves with the German tax authorities" and did wild and crazy things such as spending the evening at a sort of informal seminar on
Mehrwertsteuer, aka Value Added Tax (but which is not quite the same as the US American sales tax, apparently).
It was, as these things go, interesting. Or to be more precise, comforting, because it seems that after several years filling out the forms by myself, I have got hold of largely the right end of the stick when it comes to the general principles (I won't bore you with the details, but they involve string theory and the occasional ritual sacrifice of small rodents). However, having recently carefully completed my return for 2006 and spending a day or so coming to the conclusion that I owed the state about €800, which I could claim back next year, I was somewhat consternated by their opinion that they owed me about €400 instead. Also, there are still vast swathes of material which are best read while sticking ones head into a bucket of sand, involving numbered paragraphs and three-way intra-European exchanges of goods and services, where I have until now just hoped they don't apply to me. Nevertheless, among others I learnt that there is a §13b, which could be useful if paying invoices to entities in non EU countries because you can count part of the sum as a sort of virtual
Mehrwertsteuer. Or something. As is the way with
Mehrwertsteuer, it exists in its own world, related to but separate from the more intuitive business of money coming in, money going out and the (ridiculously small) difference between the two.
So it was basically productive use of an evening, and if anyone out there has any questions about
Mehrwertsteuer, I will happily forward you the name of someone who is more passionate about the subject than I am.
Added: I seem to have
ranted about this last year too.
Comments
Thu, 20.11.2008 12:17
Deutschland-Schweden Out of Europe "Best" war ein N ordallianz ml Europa, Russland und Japan (große Kriege [...]
Tue, 28.10.2008 15:51
Yes indeedy. There's one tomor row (Wednesday), at Osswald, w hich I'm not sure I can make t hough. But I'll keep you [...]
Sat, 25.10.2008 12:05
Until 3rd Nov - any Stammtisch e coming up?
Fri, 24.10.2008 01:32
Sir, how long are you here for ?
Tue, 21.10.2008 20:45
Dear Mr. Penguin, I think I kn ow someone who could do with t hat chest-of-drawers, and mayb e the fridge. I'll get b [...]
Fri, 07.03.2008 14:42
I don't know what you're smoki ng, but I'm sure a lot of peop le would be interested to find out.
Fri, 07.03.2008 12:28
HOW DO YOU DO… BEING A BERLIN ER Wanna swastika shaped be er mug? Like climbing walls? Stay in the UK Histo [...]
Sat, 01.03.2008 14:31
I hope the squids and whales d idn't get you. It's March 1st and there is a distinct lack o f blogs.
Mon, 11.02.2008 12:50
Welcome in your new job as the Japanese Ambassador to Blackp ool... eh lass, let's go üü p tüüer..
Sun, 10.02.2008 23:11
Hmm, yesterday I went past whe re the whale place was but for got to look out for it. I'll l et you all know in the r [...]
Sun, 10.02.2008 23:02
....and hope you enjoy the "sc ientific" whale steaks!.
Sat, 09.02.2008 21:06
The fish contains soya sauce. You can buy them for a few cen ts at the Asian supermarket in the Alexanderhaus on Al [...]
Sat, 09.02.2008 21:03
Nope, made the plane - but onl y just due to late departure f rom Tegel (a broken-down airpl ane tug) and Charles de [...]
Sat, 09.02.2008 01:25
What's in the fish? Is it perhaps Whalemeat juice?? Gathered of course, under "lab oratory conditions" and [...]
Fri, 08.02.2008 22:26
Nein, nein, no comprendo. Blog ging? From a PLANE? No, you mi ssed the flight, didn't you?