Vending Machines of Berlin (2): the misc stuff vending machine
Saturday, November 24. 2007
So, it's Sunday night and you have a screw loose. Or you need a screw. Or a screw-wall-interface plastic thingy. Or some stuff to fill some gaping holes with. Or some batteries for your vibrator. Or a hinged measuring stick for whatever purposes. Or just some plain old Lüsterklemmen. Then Eisenwarenhandlung Günter Menge in Pankow is at your assistance. 24 hours a day, right around the clock with their 60-compartment miscellaneous items vending machine (which looks suspiciously like the one featured here).
Located at Hermann-Hesse-Straße 4-8 in northern Pankow. The machine doesn't give change, and most items are priced at €1 or €2, which might be a little on the steep side but maybe worth it if you really need those batteries.
Located at Hermann-Hesse-Straße 4-8 in northern Pankow. The machine doesn't give change, and most items are priced at €1 or €2, which might be a little on the steep side but maybe worth it if you really need those batteries.
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I think 2 Euro for some Hanf seems to be very good value indeed. Is the compartment chock-full ('block-full'?) of the stuff?
That really is 'northern Pankow', isn't it. More 'northern' than where Lotte Ulbricht spent her last days (I mean, 'decades'). That's so northern, it's almost Mecklenburg.
And "Zubehör", does that not usually, in a Hanf context, mean 'waterpipes' ('bongs'), very long rizlas, and curiously tiny notebooks? And what's all that about 'Lustklemmen'? Do they require the batteries? What is this, some kind drug and sex den? There's probably handcuffs on offer somewhere there too. That window to the right really is German Schaufensterkunst at its best, though. That's what apprenticeships are for, I can tell you.
Feel free to merge all three of these rants into one, should you so wish.
Feel free to merge all three of these rants into one, should you so wish.
Yup, keep going around the corner and you meet open countryside, and not far after that the Swedish border.
This place is the real reason why Udo Lindenberg wanted a "Sonderzug nach Pankow".
I have no idea what Lüsterklemmen are, and I don't want to find out... "Kommen Sie in unser Lüsterklemmen-Studio, Herr Pinguin, unsere Lüsterassistentin Holger wird Ihnen alles vorführen".
This place is the real reason why Udo Lindenberg wanted a "Sonderzug nach Pankow".
I have no idea what Lüsterklemmen are, and I don't want to find out... "Kommen Sie in unser Lüsterklemmen-Studio, Herr Pinguin, unsere Lüsterassistentin Holger wird Ihnen alles vorführen".
They appear to be these:
http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bild:Leuchterklemme_75dpi.jpg
I wonder what they're called in English. Probably 'those plastic things with screws in holes for attaching light fittings and such, y'know?', as in 'Have you got any of those plastic things with screws in holes for attaching light fittings and such, y'know?' 'No, I don't know. As there's no word for them we can't even imagine what they are. Like 'Fahrscheinentwerter'.' 'Damn. Better get the next flight/Sonderzug to Pankow and get one there. I don't need to know what they call them, there's a vending machine. I'll get some cannabis resin and related paraphenalia while I'm at it'. 'Right you are, good day.'
Don't tell me you know Holger as well.
http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bild:Leuchterklemme_75dpi.jpg
I wonder what they're called in English. Probably 'those plastic things with screws in holes for attaching light fittings and such, y'know?', as in 'Have you got any of those plastic things with screws in holes for attaching light fittings and such, y'know?' 'No, I don't know. As there's no word for them we can't even imagine what they are. Like 'Fahrscheinentwerter'.' 'Damn. Better get the next flight/Sonderzug to Pankow and get one there. I don't need to know what they call them, there's a vending machine. I'll get some cannabis resin and related paraphenalia while I'm at it'. 'Right you are, good day.'
Don't tell me you know Holger as well.
Hmm, Wikipedia says "screw terminal", though I can't say it rings any bells, and it's more of a connector anyway. Since they've gone over to using little clip-type connections for ceiling light fittings (I wouldn't have known what they are called either, but Wikipedia suggests "Federzugklemme") I don't think I've had cause to use any.
Try out this one:
http://dict.leo.org/ende?lp=ende&p=hPXz..&search=L%FCsterklemme
They are those litte plastic things where the screws always fall down to the floor while you are standing on a three metre high ladder trying desperately to install lamps in an Altbauwohnung.
http://dict.leo.org/ende?lp=ende&p=hPXz..&search=L%FCsterklemme
They are those litte plastic things where the screws always fall down to the floor while you are standing on a three metre high ladder trying desperately to install lamps in an Altbauwohnung.
I see the Tagesspiegel are still lurking here. Will this story be nicked for some 'funny story about Ausländer in Berlin' column?
In this case rather for some Bloody foreigner in London column.
The London Lurker
The London Lurker
When I lived in England they were called Rawlplugs..
I think that's how it's spelt..
I can tell you lot are not D-I-Y fans..
I think that's how it's spelt..
I can tell you lot are not D-I-Y fans..
In my defence I must protest that my DIY experience was gained in Germany, and I have a seriously underdeveloped English DIY vocabulary. I was talking to someone recently about filling in holes in walls and wanted to convey the concept of "pre-made wall plaster", aka "Spachtelmasse". Turns out that's what's known in the UK as Polyfilla. (FWIW the internet suggests "spackling paste" as a translation for "Spachtelmasse", which must be one of those new-fangled North American words).
Disclaimer: though I can even do things such as fit taps (with the help of Hanf!) don't ask for my help / advice in your next project, unless you enjoy things with a certain degree of wonk.
Disclaimer: though I can even do things such as fit taps (with the help of Hanf!) don't ask for my help / advice in your next project, unless you enjoy things with a certain degree of wonk.
Surely, Steve, Rawlplugs are what are here known as 'Dübel' (presumably 'Rawl' meaning 'wall' in a brandname-kind-of-way). And if you want a brandname-alternative for Polyfilla, how about Moltofix? 100 times more expensive than bog-standard Spachtelmasse (in its non-ready-made-up-form, just plain old 'Gips', i.e. plaster).
By the way, anyone wanting to get the 'Sonderzug nach Pankow' should get on one of the nasty BVG carriages with the 'Berliner Fenster' - Udo L. will be driving one from Potsdamer Platz to, erm, Pankow, sometime soon to....sell some more CDs/finance his hotel living now that the advocaat-pictures aren't bringing in enough money.
By the way, anyone wanting to get the 'Sonderzug nach Pankow' should get on one of the nasty BVG carriages with the 'Berliner Fenster' - Udo L. will be driving one from Potsdamer Platz to, erm, Pankow, sometime soon to....sell some more CDs/finance his hotel living now that the advocaat-pictures aren't bringing in enough money.
I have to redeem homokind now that Steve has claimed those things are Rawlplugs. I've done a google image search and everything and they're something quite different. Mind you, true to stereotype, I can't do DIY and cry if I ever see a drill. I can make tea, though.
Brilliant machine, Penguin. I need to get out and about and explore my Viertel more, though I don't like to go north of the U-Bahn, or the Rathaus if absolutely necessary.
Brilliant machine, Penguin. I need to get out and about and explore my Viertel more, though I don't like to go north of the U-Bahn, or the Rathaus if absolutely necessary.
OK.. so it's not a Rawlplug... then it must be a Plugin...
Talking of which.. I'd just like to put on record.. I'm not being sniffy about you guys and your blogs by not metioning them on my blog.. BUT my "Link Plugin" just won't work ... and I don't know why.. so nobody gets a mention.. sorry..
BiB, thank you for redeeming "us?" But unlike you I find drills and drilling quite addictive.. but it's always good to have someone in the background to "put kettle on"..
Talking of which.. I'd just like to put on record.. I'm not being sniffy about you guys and your blogs by not metioning them on my blog.. BUT my "Link Plugin" just won't work ... and I don't know why.. so nobody gets a mention.. sorry..
BiB, thank you for redeeming "us?" But unlike you I find drills and drilling quite addictive.. but it's always good to have someone in the background to "put kettle on"..
Your comment function is pretty intermittent too; I tried to post one yesterday and it kept accusing me of being a spammer 
I think "Dübel" covers both "rawlplug" and "dowel". Apparently invented by one John Joseph Rawlings.
I think "Dübel" covers both "rawlplug" and "dowel". Apparently invented by one John Joseph Rawlings.
OT here I know..
Sorry you couldn't leave a comment..
You're the second person in two days to tell me that..
Sorry you couldn't leave a comment..
You're the second person in two days to tell me that..
Oh, don't worry about OT, despite appearances this is not a serious intellectual journal.
This clip here recommends another great Berlin vending machine, the Madenautomat:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-s4PSd4nqs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-s4PSd4nqs
Is there anything worse than German hiphop? Comedy German hiphop, I suppose...even if the otherwise quite amusing Hinark Husen is involved.
And this
http://www.taz.de/blogs/reptilienfonds/2006/08/09/madenautomat/
from the same people (or one of them) about the same place, is more amusing.
"Aber Touristen wollen ja immer alles ganz genau erklärt haben. Deshalb erläutere ich in ruhigem Tonfall: „Maden. Da drin sind Maden.“ „Das glaube ich nicht“, sagen sie und werfen eine Münze ein. Sie nehmen die Dose in die Hand, machen den Deckel auf und schauen ungläubig und entsetzt hinein: Im leicht klebrig feuchten Sägemehl tummeln sich gut 100 Maden... Ich schlage versöhnlichere Töne an: „Mein Gott, das ist doch wirklich nichts Besonderes! Das ist wie im Supermarkt mit den Regalen an der Kasse. Da sind auch nur so Sachen drin, die keiner wirklich haben will, und die Leute greifen dann einfach zu und schmeißen sie in ihren Einkaufswagen.“ „Ja, aber das sind ja auch keine Maden!“ „Nein.“„Nein. Das sind Schokoriegel oder so.“ „Hättest du hier einen Euro reingeworfen, wenn dies ein Schokoriegel-Automat gewesen wäre?“ „Äh… nein. Wahrscheinlich nicht. Aber ich wollte ja auch keinen Schokoriegel.“ "Nein. Du wolltest Maden.“ „Ich wollte keine …!“ Er brüllt fast. „Aber du hast Maden gekauft. Immerhin gut 100 Stück, würde ich schätzen.“ In den Augen des Besuchs steht ein großes, verzweifeltes Fragezeichen: „Warum?“"
And over here, too http://buecher-not-reise-brot.blogspot.com/2007/11/buchautomat-madenautomat-co.html
http://www.taz.de/blogs/reptilienfonds/2006/08/09/madenautomat/
from the same people (or one of them) about the same place, is more amusing.
"Aber Touristen wollen ja immer alles ganz genau erklärt haben. Deshalb erläutere ich in ruhigem Tonfall: „Maden. Da drin sind Maden.“ „Das glaube ich nicht“, sagen sie und werfen eine Münze ein. Sie nehmen die Dose in die Hand, machen den Deckel auf und schauen ungläubig und entsetzt hinein: Im leicht klebrig feuchten Sägemehl tummeln sich gut 100 Maden... Ich schlage versöhnlichere Töne an: „Mein Gott, das ist doch wirklich nichts Besonderes! Das ist wie im Supermarkt mit den Regalen an der Kasse. Da sind auch nur so Sachen drin, die keiner wirklich haben will, und die Leute greifen dann einfach zu und schmeißen sie in ihren Einkaufswagen.“ „Ja, aber das sind ja auch keine Maden!“ „Nein.“„Nein. Das sind Schokoriegel oder so.“ „Hättest du hier einen Euro reingeworfen, wenn dies ein Schokoriegel-Automat gewesen wäre?“ „Äh… nein. Wahrscheinlich nicht. Aber ich wollte ja auch keinen Schokoriegel.“ "Nein. Du wolltest Maden.“ „Ich wollte keine …!“ Er brüllt fast. „Aber du hast Maden gekauft. Immerhin gut 100 Stück, würde ich schätzen.“ In den Augen des Besuchs steht ein großes, verzweifeltes Fragezeichen: „Warum?“"
And over here, too http://buecher-not-reise-brot.blogspot.com/2007/11/buchautomat-madenautomat-co.html
Who,What,FAQ
Who
Mount Penguin is technically British, but has lived in Berlin for like yonks.
What
This is a blog of odd stuff he comes across in everyday life, etc. Bit of a lucky dip really.
FAQ
I did originally intend to put together what one day might be the ultimate Berlin FAQ. Due to global warming that hasn't yet happened, but nevertheless if you have any questions about Berlin, feel free to ask them here and I'll see if I can find an answer...
Meanwhile...
Do come and visit my other blog where there's likely to be more hot penguin action.
Comments
about Notice of Blog Suspension
Fri, 07.03.2008 14:42
I don't know what you're smoki ng, but I'm sure a lot of peop le would be interested to find out.
Fri, 07.03.2008 14:42
I don't know what you're smoki ng, but I'm sure a lot of peop le would be interested to find out.
about Notice of Blog Suspension
Fri, 07.03.2008 12:28
HOW DO YOU DO… BEING A BERLIN ER Wanna swastika shaped be er mug? Like climbing walls? Stay in the UK Histo [...]
Fri, 07.03.2008 12:28
HOW DO YOU DO… BEING A BERLIN ER Wanna swastika shaped be er mug? Like climbing walls? Stay in the UK Histo [...]
about There's nothing like the taste of home
Sat, 01.03.2008 14:31
I hope the squids and whales d idn't get you. It's March 1st and there is a distinct lack o f blogs.
Sat, 01.03.2008 14:31
I hope the squids and whales d idn't get you. It's March 1st and there is a distinct lack o f blogs.
about There's nothing like the taste of home
Mon, 11.02.2008 12:50
Welcome in your new job as the Japanese Ambassador to Blackp ool... eh lass, let's go üü p tüüer..
Mon, 11.02.2008 12:50
Welcome in your new job as the Japanese Ambassador to Blackp ool... eh lass, let's go üü p tüüer..
about There's nothing like the taste of home
Sun, 10.02.2008 23:11
Hmm, yesterday I went past whe re the whale place was but for got to look out for it. I'll l et you all know in the r [...]
Sun, 10.02.2008 23:11
Hmm, yesterday I went past whe re the whale place was but for got to look out for it. I'll l et you all know in the r [...]
about There's nothing like the taste of home
Sun, 10.02.2008 23:02
....and hope you enjoy the "sc ientific" whale steaks!.
Sun, 10.02.2008 23:02
....and hope you enjoy the "sc ientific" whale steaks!.
about Cheesecake at 30,000 feet
Sat, 09.02.2008 21:06
The fish contains soya sauce. You can buy them for a few cen ts at the Asian supermarket in the Alexanderhaus on Al [...]
Sat, 09.02.2008 21:06
The fish contains soya sauce. You can buy them for a few cen ts at the Asian supermarket in the Alexanderhaus on Al [...]
about Cheesecake at 30,000 feet
Sat, 09.02.2008 21:03
Nope, made the plane - but onl y just due to late departure f rom Tegel (a broken-down airpl ane tug) and Charles de [...]
Sat, 09.02.2008 21:03
Nope, made the plane - but onl y just due to late departure f rom Tegel (a broken-down airpl ane tug) and Charles de [...]
about Cheesecake at 30,000 feet
Sat, 09.02.2008 01:25
What's in the fish? Is it perhaps Whalemeat juice?? Gathered of course, under "lab oratory conditions" and [...]
Sat, 09.02.2008 01:25
What's in the fish? Is it perhaps Whalemeat juice?? Gathered of course, under "lab oratory conditions" and [...]
about Cheesecake at 30,000 feet
Fri, 08.02.2008 22:26
Nein, nein, no comprendo. Blog ging? From a PLANE? No, you mi ssed the flight, didn't you?
Fri, 08.02.2008 22:26
Nein, nein, no comprendo. Blog ging? From a PLANE? No, you mi ssed the flight, didn't you?
about Fernweh
Fri, 08.02.2008 02:29
All the very best for your big , long, exciting journey today . Hope it's the start (or cont inuation) of something w [...]
Fri, 08.02.2008 02:29
All the very best for your big , long, exciting journey today . Hope it's the start (or cont inuation) of something w [...]
about Hard Gay
Sun, 03.02.2008 18:30
Nice to make your (blog) acqua intance, and some interesting info on HG - I totally missed out on the phenomenon an [...]
Sun, 03.02.2008 18:30
Nice to make your (blog) acqua intance, and some interesting info on HG - I totally missed out on the phenomenon an [...]
about Hard Gay
Sat, 02.02.2008 21:15
You might be interested in thi s little thought about Hard Ga y. The comedy works on many l evels. But who cares if [...]
Sat, 02.02.2008 21:15
You might be interested in thi s little thought about Hard Ga y. The comedy works on many l evels. But who cares if [...]
about Hard Gay
Tue, 29.01.2008 21:58
So it's not the Japanese versi on of Sacha Baron Cohen (isn't he bringing out a 'Brünö' fil m sometime soon?) then?
Tue, 29.01.2008 21:58
So it's not the Japanese versi on of Sacha Baron Cohen (isn't he bringing out a 'Brünö' fil m sometime soon?) then?
about Fernweh
Tue, 29.01.2008 13:35
Well, you can put your name do wn for some fantastic deals on used IKEA furniture for a sta rt. Provided the global [...]
Tue, 29.01.2008 13:35
Well, you can put your name do wn for some fantastic deals on used IKEA furniture for a sta rt. Provided the global [...]
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